"Are you ready for a marriage? Are you ready for a wedding?"

Hello all you single ladies!

Ok, today we are going to talk about preparing yourself for marriage. This is something that God has been talking to me about for the last year and let's say, I'm still not ready. I might write more on this, but today the Holy Spirit is leading me and I'm just going to flow.


In July 2007 I heard the Lord say in a very clear voice, "Are you ready for a marriage? Are you Ready for a Wedding?". I got so excited, I thought I was going to get married any time soon and I was on cloud nine. I started looking at my wedding books and picking out the dress and all that good stuff. But, it wasn't until November when he asked me to do the unthinkable, well to me it was unthinkable. He asked me not to date anyone or get into any relationship for one full year. November 2007-November 2008. You can see why I hit the net in November 2008! LOL. Anyway, One night he had me up, and I was calculating the cost of being married. A decent wedding, nothing ghetto, would run me a minimum $10,000. I want to birth six kids, and adopt two, so the crib I want is $1,000 from Pottery Barn. I know there are much cheaper cribs out there, but I want to start a lot of family traditions. I figured if I bought one good crib that all my babies could use, then I would not have to make any future investments (expect if I had twins or Triplets). When I started to calculate dippers and baby food and all that it takes to raise a family, my account came up way short!


I am not saying that you have to be rich before you get married, what God is showed me is that I was not ready for a marriage, and I was not ready for a wedding. So many of us are in the same boat. Believe it or not we might not find a Boaz. Even though I pray you do. What if your husband makes less than you do? I do believe that your Husband should provide for your complete household and that you working should be an option. But, that's my opinion. The reality is, you might make more than him.

What I want us to look at today is the scripture of the young virgins and I want us to be women of Wisdom. Let's prepare for our wedding, because this is the time for you to save up for your wedding and save up for your marriage. If you don't then you could be holding up your own union. I do believe that God can provide, but sometimes God provides us with wisdom and the time to prepare.

If your not working at this time, then you should be preparing your heart and your spirit for marriage. This means, you should get into the word of the living God, study other wives, like the proverbs 31 woman and pray and ask God to get you ready for your husband. Pray for your husband to come.

Pray for the following things:
*God to Bless your husband
*Help you to have wisdom on how to communicate with him
*Help you to overcome all misunderstandings you've had about marriage in terms of how God wants a marriage to operate
*Help you to overcome your deep hidden problems and hurts with men from your past, brothers and your father
*Ask him how to make your marriage work
*What direction should your family go in and prepare you for that

Maybe your called to be the first lady of a chruch, this means that your husband is going to be in the spotlight and your going to be responsible for help growing a church. Ask God now before you meet your mate to give you the skills of a leader, prepare your heart for that role and to make the provision for that journey. Ask God to prepare your family for that journey as well. Study great women who are leaders and pray that God will equip you now for when that time is to come. Study the word like never before. Practice teaching a bible study etc.

There are habits that we have that must be changed before we get married and commit to a man. If you nag your friends, you will nag your husband. If your controlling now, you'll be controlling when you get married. The book of proverbs talks a lot about being a miserable wife, and how a prudent wife is a gift from God!

I'm not saying we need to be perfect, what I'm saying is, during your single years you should be working on yourself 100%. Become the woman God has called you to be. It's like we meet a guy and he's everything we want on paper except for a few things. Like he curses, drinks and smokes but we believe he is going to change once he starts dating us! Never going to happen, God has to change him first. Ask God to go Deep into your heart and expose all the baggage you need to drop off before you enter the marriage covenant.

If you never saw a healthy, God fearing marriage like me, ask God to place you around people with healthy God fearing marriages. I didn't know how much of my mother and fathers ideas on marriage I had until God exposed it. We do become the ones we hate. So if your mom has been single her whole life and never keeps a relationship, ask God to help you not to become that. If your parents are divorced ask God to expose the root of the divorce and help your marriage not to become that. If your divorced ask God to heal you of the pain and expose why it didn't' work and if it was you then ask God to change you, if it wasn't then ask him to prepare you for your next successful relationship. Also this is big FORGIVE YOUR PARENTS FOR THE MISTAKES THEY'VE MADE IN RAISING YOU AND THE SINS THEY'VE COMMITTED AGAINST EACH OTHER. FORGIVE YOUR PARENTS AND ASK GOD TO HELP YOU NOT MAKE THOSE SAME MISTAKES. If you don't know your parents or if there was abuse in the house, forgive them and ask God to heal you deep in that wound.

I'm not talking about God changing all of you, just the parts of you that can hinder your marriage. For example, I'm a messy person. I've tried to be Mrs. Clean and have my house look like a magazine and it just doesn't work for me. I'm a mess. I keep the kitchen and the bathroom clean, but I have papers all over the place and it's my vice. My niece who I take care of, and who lives with me. That girl cleans like a professional. I mean the house looks like a magazine and I'm just amazed. That is her gift and it is not mine. So ask God to show you the things that will hinder your marriage.

We have got to get out of the habit of wasting God's time. I used to be notorious for this. I knew God wanted me to do something and I would wait until he brought the opportunity for me to do it before I prepared myself for it. That is wrong. Let' take the time we have and Glorify God with it by being prepared. Two things happen when we are not prepared, one, we miss the opportunity God has for us. Two we get into the opportunity and we mess it up! So let's get ready and not just talk about it, be about getting ready.

Let's get into the word:

Matthew 25 1-13

1"At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2Five of them were foolish and five were wise. 3The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. 4The wise, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. 5The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.
6"At midnight the cry rang out: 'Here's the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!'
7"Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. 8The foolish ones said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.'
9" 'No,' they replied, 'there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.'
10"But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut.
11"Later the others also came. 'Sir! Sir!' they said. 'Open the door for us!'
12"But he replied, 'I tell you the truth, I don't know you.'
13"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.

This Scripture means so many things, it speaks loudly to salvation and preparing for the return of Jesus Christ. Let's look at it in terms of getting ready for that Godly union. The scripture doesn't say how much time was given to the ten women to prepare for the bridegroom, but they all had the same time. When preparing for your mate work towards the meeting with energy and diligence because you don't' want to meet him and not be prepared for the new life you will have with him.

We've covered getting ready spiritually, and emotionally, let's look at getting ready financially. I believe that as the women of our household we should be the spiritual Joesph's for each house. I remember growing up in the 90's and 2000's and my dad's business was booming. My and parents shopped like there was no tomorrow. I still have pictures with me and my mom and a $1000 outfit she bought me. I went to Europe every summer, and money was never a problem. During those times my mother wanted to start several other business ventures, but my dad didn't help her with it so they never did them. Today my dad's business is drying up, like so many other small businesses. The one thing I hear the most from my parents is "I should have". Yep, I should have invested in this, or I should have invested in that. But, because there was so much plenty, we didn't think it would run out. My pastor preached an awesome word today, and it's so true, there is always a season of to much and not enough.

What God is doing with you right now is teaching you basic management skills, and these skills should be applied when your married. Did you know that a majority of marriages in and out of the church fail because of money? Yep the might dollar brings down more households than you can think. So how do you prepare for the wedding and the marriage? simple pray to God and get his plan and work it.

He's going to ask you to make some financial changes that is going to take a lot of work, but it's going to help you become more disciplined in the future. Here are some things that might help you (this list is not final ask God what to add to it not take away):

#1. Do a profit and loss statement on yourself. It doesn't have to be fancy, but look at how much money is coming and how much money is going out. Also write down your debt and what need to be eliminated quickly. Keep a detailed record of what your spending for 90 straight days. I want you to do this even if your over flowing with money.

#2. If you find that your cash low, then ask God to show you ways to increase your wealth. Maybe it's a part time job? or a part time business like direct marketing or maybe you have a natural gift you can profit from. I am skilled at hair and make up, its just a natural thing for me. I'm excited about prom season 09 because I'm going to make these little girls up and get paid! Or maybe you can cook? or decorate? or write? you'll be surprise of the natural talents you have that others are willing to pay for. Find a way to stop living pay check to pay check.

#3. Talk to a real financial planner ask them what types of investments you should be making. What are the most risky and the most profitable. If you lost your job today, how would you support yourself? where else can money come from and how much do you have now to live off of?

#4. Get financially savvy, remember right now your doing this just for you, but pretty soon you'll have to do this for your family and the time to prepare for your child's college fund isn't when the doctor tells you your pregnant!

#5. Get out of debt. Get out of debt and Get out of debt. The word says you should owe no man anything expect love. Ask God to help you get out of debt. Pay off the credit cards now! remember a season of not is enough is on it's way.

#6. Look at your ratios. Your wealth is accumulated by how much you keep not how much you earn. Top money advisers like Robert Kiyosaki and Dave Ramsey stress the 70/30 rule. You live on 70% of your income, you tithe 10% of your income, you save 10% of your income and you invest 10% of your income. If you can't do it instantly ask God to provide the extra 30% or start with saving a dollar a day, invest a dollar a day and give a dollar day. Just start! It's going to be hard, but it teaches you two things, #1. being disciplined about how you spend your money, and #2. you'll have some money when your husband gets here!

#7. Figure out what emotional attachment's you have to money and ask God to break the unhealthy ones. For example, do you shop when your mad? Do you impulse buy? Do you have too much? If your shoe closet looks like a boutique, we have a problem. When your kids come how are you going to keep up that lavish lifestyle? Remember a prudent wife is a gift from God.

God will increase your income if your a good steward over what you have now. Also how do you pay your bills? I pay my bills when they are due. I could have the money in my account a month before it's due, but I pay it when it's due. Do you pay your bills when you feel like it and have late fees all the time? Late fees are a waste of money. Trust me once you start to ask God to show you where your wasting your money, it's going to shock you. We also learn a lot about money from our parents. So ask God to expose the lies we've grown up thinking about money. Money is not the root to all evil, but the LOVE OF MONEY is the root to all evil. Big difference.

#8. Ask God to show you what you can live with out and save that money.

#9. Invest your own money on financial education (books, tapes, trainings).

#10. If you failed at your finances your whole life like I did, Get on God's plan today and he'll restore the years you've lost to ignorance.

I challenge you for the year of 2009 to make minor and major changes to your financial life and tell me about it. Testify about how much you've saved towards that fabulous wedding I'm going to attend, or how much God has moved in your life. When you meet the one, talk to him about money and start to pray that God will help you both be good stewards of your money before he even gets here.

I am on this journey with you, everything I've written I'm doing. I'm at the beginning and starting over myself, so don't be discouraged, know that I understand. So let's take this road together.

Books and websites you must get on now!

#1. Rich Dad Poor Dad, and get the tape series
#2. Susie Ormans "Road to Wealth"
#3. DaniJohnson.com "Conquering the financial kingdom" Cd Series
#4. Duggarfamily.com - this woman has 18 kids and they are completely debt free!
#5. DaveRamsey.com


Scriptures to study:
#1. Proverbs 31
#2. Genesis 37-45 Pray this one out, its Joesph's story God will give you insight on your personal life and your families future
#3. Better to live on the roof than share the house with a nagging wife. (GNB: Prov 21.9)
Better to live out in the desert than with a nagging, complaining wife. (GNB: Prov 21.19)
A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip on a rainy day. How can you keep her quiet? Have you ever tried to stop the wind or ever tried to hold a handful of oil? (GNB: Prov 27.15)
#4. Deuteronomy 28 and 29
#5. Proverbs 10:22
#6. 2 Thessalonians 3:10

Let's Pray:
Father we thank you that we are not the unwise virgins, but we are the wise ones. Father we ask that our time being single will not be a waste but we will accomplish great things for you and your kingdom. Father we ask that you help use to take down every negative idea we had about wealth, every incorrect teachings we've had about wealth and managing your money. Father we pray for wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Father give us your wisdom, your word says that Wisdom was with you before for the foundations of the earth, and that she dwells with prudence. Help us to be prudent, help us to make small changes that will have great impacts. Help us to find the key to debt release. Father, I bless the women who read this and for those who think they've lost time, Father redeem the time. But, I pray that you will go Deep and expose all the things about us that are untrue, damaging, and will become a total hindrance to our marriages. Father I pray for their husbands, for your word says it's not good for man to be alone. I pray that their husbands are getting ready as well. I pray that their husbands are being transformed into your image by the word of God. Bless them to provide for their families and bless us with the wisdom to manage your provision. It's not about money, it's about your kingdom and your will being done in our lives. We thank you and we bless you. In Jesus Name, Amen.



Till next time-



Sara

All scriputres have come from the bible.