Dating With Out God is Wack!

“I’m Single Saved and I don’t Live in the City”

December 9, 2008

Ok, so it’s been about three weeks since I started to talk to different men online. Yes, I said online. It all happened one night when I was lonely, and bored out of my mind. Things weren’t going the way I planned and I was fed up with God, and fed up with waiting on God. So I went online and I posted an ad and the flood gates of men started pouring in. At this point I was so out of it that I didn’t care if they were believers or not. I just wanted a man in my life, I wanted someone who would step in and do all the things I have to do on my own. The only thing I wanted was to be taken cared of.

I did not want to be single, so I got on a mission to find a man and to find me a husband fast. I watched “Real Housewives” and said to myself, if these women could get a man to lavish them, so can I. I figured if I found someone within a certain age group, and status then I would be set. Flash my pretty smile, run my New York game and it would be a done deal. So I treated looking for a man, the way I do any other business transaction. When a man would answer my posting I would size him up. First, what do you look like, second, what do you do for a living, and third are you looking for a long term relationship.

I did meet a lot of freaks, married men, and a lot of men looking for sex. But overall I’ve met some really great men. Some doctors, a few lawyers, and multiple business owners. One guy, we'll call him “S.T.” is a very successful lawyer in Manhattan. He owns his firm and we talk about business for hours. He wants to take the role of mentor and boyfriend in my life. If you know me business is my everything. So when we began talking it was like magic. But, there is one problem, he doesn’t know God. None of them “know God”.

At first I didn’t pray about it because I was mad at God for making me wait. So I went for three weeks, just talking to different people and building different relationships. Going on different dates and not asking God one thing (LOL thank God for his Grace). Slowly I’ve gotten over my issues with God, and let me say God is perfect. I failed not God. God is perfect in everything. He’s the greatest part of my life.

Now that I’m back in line with God, and I feel sorry for these men because they are so empty. That’s what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about dating without God. You just can’t do it. Men who are not saved and transformed, did you hear me I said men who are not saved and transformed will never satisfy a woman of God. None of these men, no matter how much money they have and all the things they want to do for me financially will never be able to satisfy a deeper part of me. Trust, I was too tempted to go to Miami with one of the Doctors for the weekend (I need a vacation but not like that). In the end I would be more hurt than loved. Because there is nothing that he has that I truly desire.

I woke up this morning feeling so empty and dissatisfied. Then God revealed to me that dating without him will not work. These men have no substance. It’s like I’m talking to dead people. There is a flame that believes carry and we often over look it and don’t realize it because we are always around each other, but we possess Christ. When a person doesn’t have Christ nothing they have will truly satisfy them or anyone else. Even though they have everything in the material world that I wanted, that deep connection is not there.

Is it nice having a man tell you how highly he thinks of you and how much he wants to take things to the next level. But, no matter what they say, all the complements and all that stuff just doesn’t fulfill a greater need that I have or that you have. I also realized why so many marriages fail.

Some Marriages fail because you have empty people, marring empty people. What gets them into the relationship isn’t enough to keep them in the relationship. I’m talking about unsaved people, and people who are save but have not been transformed by the word of God. I’m sorry, you can’t date or enjoy a man with -out God. There is something so amazing about a “real” man of God. I mean their style is so fly and fills your heart and your soul.

That’s what I’m looking for, I’m looking for a man who can fill me up! LOL someone who is my perfect ten. From the way he acts, to the way he studies the word of God. That’s so attractive, not some dude who is empty and doesn’t have the flame.

It’s so interesting how you don’t realize how much God has taken you out of the World until you face situations like this. I’ve never been married and I don’t know the challenges that married people face, but one thing I can say, is unless the power of God enters your marriage then you will not be able to overcome the difficult times. It’s only the power of God that will help both persons to forgive and to change for real (not for fake). Only God can heal the deepest wounds. Only God can change the uglest heart. Only the Blood of Jesus can cover the worst and most viel sin.

Empty people will not make good partners, they don’t make good boyfriends and they will not make good husbands or wives. I’m not talking about perfection, because we are all far from perfection. I’m talking about people who live and know God. The word says “taste and see that the Lord is Good” Psalms 34:8. The word also says “do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” Romans 12:2.

That’s what where looking for as single women. We are looking for men who have tasted the rivers of life that comes from the thrown of God, Psalms 46. And if he hasn’t tasted, and drink of the living waters that only Jesus can give, then he is not the one. (John 4) He is not the one. I believe that when the one comes you’ll know. You’ll know like you know, like you know. When you meet him it will be like this:

John 2: 25 Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. 26It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ. 27Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, 28Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying: 29"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss[d] your servant in peace. 30For my eyes have seen your salvation, 31which you have prepared in the sight of all people, 32a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel."
33The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him. 34Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: "This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too."
36There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, 37and then was a widow until she was eighty-four.[e] She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. 38Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.


Now you’re not waiting for the savior of the world, he already came. But your experience when you meet him or her should be satisfying. It should be pure, and it should be holy. You are waiting for one part of your life to be fulfilled. Remember if the man or woman your thinking about doesn’t make you feel “fulfilled” they are not the one. If they don’t “know” God they are not the one.

Lets pray, Father I thank you that all things work together for the good of them that love God and are called upon your purpose. And father I pray for my fellow single Christians who are waiting. I pray for their strength and their ability to discern the enemy. I pray that you will comfort them and give them the peace that surpasses all understanding. Prepare our hearts for the perfect wedding. Because your word says that “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh”. Father I pray that we will be prepared to fit our mate and become one flesh. Those who are facing difficult times in their marriages, I pray your peace and strength and grace to endure. We thank you and we bless you, in Jesus name. Amen.


That’s all I have for today, stay tuned we are going on an amazing ride! Praise God
Scriptures to study
John chapters 2 and 4
Psalms 46 and 34
Romans 12

The Above scripture came from the Bible.